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Toomey and the Debt

Published by Daniel Malloy on .

elton_john

At the thrilling Conservative Political Action Conference last week, a gaggle of Pennsylvania reporters (including the Morning Call's Colby Itkowitz and the Inquirer's Tom Fitzgerald) was discussing freshman Sen. Pat Toomey and his almost singleminded focus on the national debt. The Trib's Salena Zito suggested a song parody would suit the moment: Toomey and the Debt, sung to the tune of the Elton John classic Bennie and the Jets.

So today, in preparation for yet another Toomey-debt speech Wednesday, Early Returns has toiled away to produce the song destined to top the charts: Toomey and the Debt. (Original lyrics can be found here; YouTube of Elton performing the tune on The Muppet Show here.)

VERSE 1
Hey kids, check out the new senator
The spotlight's on the budget
And he'll be right in the center
He will crunch the numbers tonight
So stick around
To hear a speech that will leave you
Asleep on the ground

CHORUS:
Say, Barry and Harry have you seen them yet
The two best friends around, Toomey and the debt
They know each other oh so well
Oh Toomey he can talk all day
He's got the Wall Street past, the Club for Growth
You know I read it in the Morning Call
Toomey and the debt

VERSE 2:
Hey kids, you know we're in a crisis
Maybe gonna default
And Toomey doesn't like this
We shall survive, if we only just pass his bill
The Dems say he wants to Pay China First
But solvency's a bitter pill

CHORUS

Toomey! Toomey! Toomey! Toomey and the Debt! (repeat)

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