SPOILER ALERT: If you're eating your cornflakes or are easily offended, or both, it's probably best to skip over this post. Maybe read Dan Malloy's song about Pat Toomey and the debt, and ponder if he can take over Dennis Roddy's former songwriting duties?

Still here?

Ok, for those still with us, Roll Call today takes on Rick Santorum's "Google problem," something that's been around since 2003 but gets a news hook now because of his lousy polling numbers in the pre-presidential race. Those going to Google to find out about him, their pitch goes, are going to get some nasty results. See below:

The Google attack was started by sex columnist Dan Savage (pictured at left), who is gay, after Santorum compared homosexual sex to "man on child, man on dog" acts in 2003. Since then, ex-Santorum staffers have reached out to tech experts to look at combating the problem, Roll Call reports, but realized there was little they could do. At this point the former Senator is resigned to using the online attack as a badge of honor, Santorum ally David Urban tells the paper:

“The site’s completely gross. But I don’t think it’s a problem politically for Rick running for president. Quite the opposite,” he said. “If you’re Rick Santorum and you’re making an argument that there’s certain people that wish you ill, there’s exhibit No. 1. You say: ‘You want to see my battle scars? Google my name. You don’t think I’ve been in the trenches for years? I’ve got the scars to prove it.’”

The guy just can't win these days. He's getting crucified for his low placement in the CPAC straw poll last weekend, which followed a public beat-down from Sarah Palin on Fox News (where the pair are both employed). And today comes news that he has picked fights with Barney and Sesame Street. From HuffPost/GOP12:

"And one of the tough things always -- when I came to Congress, I was one of the guys that said we gotta cut the Corporation for Public Broadcasting. It wasn't necessary anymore," Santorum said on Fox News.

But driving that initiative wasn't easy, Santorum said, since "the 'Barney' contingent came out and the 'Sesame Street' contingent came out, and these are programs that are popular among families and so they hit you pretty hard."